What is ego?

What is ego? A child is born without any knowledge, any consciousness of his own self and the first thing he becomes aware of is not himself but other. It is natural, because the eyes open outwards, the hands touch others, the ears listen to others, the tongue tastes food and the nose smells the outside. All these senses opens up to the outwards. This is the world of the outside. -Other means the thou. Then, by and by, he becomes aware of his own body. That too is the other, that too belongs to the world. This is how a child grows. First he becomes aware of other then he becomes aware of himself. This awareness is a reflected awareness. He is not aware of who he is. He is simply aware of other and what other thinks about him. If other smiles, if other appreciates, if other says, "You are beautiful," if other hugs and kisses him, he feels good about himself. An ego is born.. Through appreciation, love, care, he feels he is good, he feels he is valuable, he feels he has some significance.

A center is born, this center is a reflected center. It is not his real being. He does not know who he is, he simply knows what others think about him. And this is the ego: the reflection, what others think. If nobody thinks that he is of any use, nobody appreciates him, nobody smiles, then too an ego is born: an ill ego; sad, rejected, like a wound: feeling inferior, worthless. This too is the ego. This too is a reflection.

The more the world grows, the more complex the ego becomes, because many others' opinions are reflected. The ego is an accumulated phenomenon, a by-product of living with others. If someone lives alone, he will never come to grow an ego. But that is not going to help and that doesn't mean that he will come to know the real self. The real can only be known through the false, so the ego is a must. One has to pass through it. The real can be known only through the illusion. You cannot know the truth directly. First you have to know that which is not true. First you have to encounter the untrue. Through that encounter you become capable of knowing the truth. If you know the false as the false, truth will dawn upon you.

Ego is a social by-product. The society means all that is around you - not you, but all that is around you. All, minus you, is the society. And everybody reflects. You will go to school and the teacher will reflect who you are. By and by, everybody is adding to your ego, and everybody is trying to modify it in such a way that you don't become a problem to the society.