Once you are honest with yourself about your real edge, it is best to lean just beyond it. Very few have the guts for this practice. Most either settle for the easy path or self-aggrandize themselves by taking the extreme hard path. Your insecurity may cause you to doubt yourself, and so you take the easy way, not even approaching your real edge or your real gift. Alternatively, your insecurity may lead you to push, push and push, seeking to become victorious over your own sense of lack. Both approaches avoid your actual condition in the moment, which is fear. If you are stressfully avoiding your fear, you cannot relax into the fearless. Your fear is the sharpest definition of your self. You should know it. You should feel it virtually constantly. Fear needs to become your friend, so that you are no longer uncomfortable with it. Rather, primary fear shows you that you are at your edge. Staying with the fear, staying at your edge, allows real transformation to occur. You are willing to be with what is, rather than trying to escape it by pulling back from it, or trying to escape it by pushing beyond it into some future goal.
Fear of fear may lead you to hang back, living a
lesser life than you are capable. Fear of fear may lead you to push ahead,
living a false life, off-center, tense and missing the moment. But the capacity
to feel this moment, including your fear, without trying to escape it, creates
a state of alive and humble spontaneity. You are ready for the unknown as it
unfolds, since you are not pulled back or pushed forward from the horizon of
the moment. You are hanging right over the edge. By leaning just beyond your fear, you challenge your
limits compassionately, without trying to escape the feeling of fear itself.
You step beyond the solid ground of security with an open heart. You stand in
the space of unknowingness, raw and awake. Here, the gravity of deep being will
attend you to the only place where fear is obsolete: the eternal free fall of
home. Where you always are. Own your fear, and lean just beyond it. In every
aspect of your life. Starting now Every day you want to do many things, from
hugging your lover to earning money. Why? What feeling underlies all your hopes
and dreams? This feeling is the tension between who you really are and who you
assume yourself to be.
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