Snakes and Ladder's

Out of our deep longing for something more, something better, many of us find ourselves drawn into the bustling market of self-improvement and spirituality. Maybe we try to cultivate positivity and aspire to become a brighter, healthier, more present “me”. Or maybe we hear about wonderful transcendental experiences, spiritual fireworks, colourful lights, auras, the paranormal, and we go looking for those mystical delights, go looking for peace, go looking for happiness and love. And for a time it seems to work. But, inevitably, we cannot maintain our newly imposed structure of “should” and “shouldn'ts” and whatever big experiences we have fade. Then we beat ourselves up for not getting it “right”, for having missed some vital piece of information, or else we live in denial of our failure. Either way our longing remains as we are still locked inside a mesh of thinking, still trying to get there.

We may read all the books, the facebook posts, watch the youtube clips, go to the meetings and retreats, but the frustration grows as the harder we try the craftier thought seems to become! We hear the message that there are no positions to take and thought cleverly takes the position of taking no positions. Someone gently suggests that we stop judging others and thought immediately begins judging our judging. Another kindly soul advises us to just accept what is and off thought runs again busily working on accepting, and certainly not accepting the moments when life is so painful that it simply can't be accepted. We observe those that seem to have "got it" and compare ourselves to them, maybe even trying to model their behaviour. “Stop trying so hard” they cry, and so we try to stop trying..