Gurdijeff

Conscience is a state in which a man feels all at once everything that he in general feels, or can feel. And as everyone has within him thousands of contradictory feelings which vary from a deeply hidden realization of his own nothingness and fears of all kinds to the most stupid kind of self-conceit, self-confidence, self-satisfaction, and self-praise, to feel all this together would not only be painful but literally unbearable. If a man whose entire inner world is composed of contradictions were suddenly to feel all these contradictions simultaneously within himself, if he were to feel all at once that he loves everything he hates and hates everything he loves; that he lies when he tells the truth and that he tells the truth when he lies; and if he could feel the shame and horror of it all, this would be the state which is called 'conscience. A man cannot live in this state; he must either destroy contradictions or destroy conscience. He cannot destroy conscience, but if he cannot destroy it he can put it to sleep, that is, he can separate by impenetrable barriers one feeling of self from another, never see them together, never feel their incompatibility, the absurdity of one existing alongside another. But fortunately for man, that is, for his peace and for his sleep, this state of conscience is very rare.

G. I. Gurdjieff, quoted by Ouspensky, In Search of the Miraculous pg 155

Play

Life is so intelligent, it will always challenge you, put you into trouble and then solve it all for you. And as there is no 'you', life is just at play.

The play of life

Play your part in the comedy, but don't identify yourself with your role. (Wei Wu Wei)

Just this..

The whole mind falls to bits and there is nothing to hold on to, that’s not to say that all the teachings that you had in the past weren't perfect – they couldn't have been any other way, that was how your story had to go but now the whole constructs of mind fall apart - nothing makes sense because it is now beginning to be seen as 'just is' – rather than somebody doing something, weather that be God or another human. Life is just happening without anybody doing anything and this baffles the mind cause and effect are just apparent really there has only ever been and only ever will be this and all the teachings become a bit senseless. Nothing is left to hold onto. Complete free fall in love. Although even that is just a thought and can't be held on to just this... which contains all of this...

The Storyteller is absolutely useless..

The question is, 'who' is the one writing the impulses into the body? That's the most amazing part. The storyteller always comes after. They can scan the body now and see that the activity is already happening to make a choice before you consciously think about making that choice. It's amazing that the thought is appearing after the action.

We are so convinced that that is who we are and that we are choosing, whereas the claiming is just a side product that has happened. Its like there is an over-excited activity of the brain or an energy that is claiming things. You never need to make boundaries, boundaries will happen. When you're sitting there thinking, "Should I tell him no or should I tell him yes”, it’s already been decided. It's already happening in the body. The answer is already coming. The personal activity is absolutely useless.

Spesialness

Spiritual life imposes many conditions on the ‘impure’ and ‘separate’ individual – special meditations, appropriate behaviours, ceremonies, diets, sexual conduct, destruction of the ego, cessation of thought, finding the stillness, surrendering to the guru, etc.

Consciousness, already being Consciousness in whatever form it appears, has no need of a vegetarian diet, celibacy, tantric sexuality, meditation or gurus. Consciousness is already all of these things. If there is a liking for chanting, meditation, eating vegetarian food or practising tantric sex, then that’s all fine. But it won’t help the recognition of this which You already are.

Habit

The mind is very habitual. If we do some thing daily to produce a state we develop a habit. It can be related to nearly anything. So if we follow our patterns because it feels ok or good in some way, look very closely at what is actually happening and ask is this habit or freedom in the moment. Here is a related story,

A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies, not the original books. So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there were an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies.
The head monk says “We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.” So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original.
Hours later, nobody has seen him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears a sobbing coming from the back of the cellar, and finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books and crying. He asks what’s wrong. “The word is ‘celebrate’,” says the old monk...

Why?

Why would you need å reason for anything? There is no such ting. Reason are made up. You Never need them. Remember the sequence:

1) A desire arises from the void
2) An action take place and,
3) A reason is made up because no one wants to appear un-reasonable...

Usually this all happens within a very short time and can be observed with some diligence.

My thoughts

Thought believes that it can protect me. Thought believes that there is a safe place away from here. Thought imagines that tomorrow will be better, that somewhere, with someone else, will be perfect. If only I can figure it all out, then I will finally be able to relax....  
But in the meantime, whether we like it or not, Life is simply a wild unprotected, out-of-control, wondrously timeless mystery.

Is it lucky to be born?

Is liberation luck or is there something I can do? 

To say it is luck is to look at it upside down.

To ask what to do is to look at it upside down.

Asking what to do is like asking how to breath, or to be born, or to die.

It's a koan. 

Impossible to answer. 

Because the question makes no sense