Being John Malkovich

This is not self-help

This isn’t a self-help blog. It doesn’t guide you on how to live a better life or a better story or a better you or how to manifest the perfect experience. This blog simply points to home beyond any experience. It points back to that which has always been there despite who and what you believed yourself and the world to be. It is true freedom, not one based on hope or perfection in the flow of life.

This is about the perfection and love of simply being.

Time

All time appears here. This ..... is not a result of time. That's mind blowing because we presumed that 'this' is a result of time. It's the absolute opposite, we got it all wrong from the beginning.

What if?

What if you saw life through the eyes of someone that doesn’t feel enough. Doesn’t think her life, what she do, what she are, is enough. What if she only saw the wonder of this world from a perspective of comparison? From a language based on duality, opposites and judgement. What a dull, boring world this would seem. Full of unfairness, disappointment and hate.

Thankfully - there is nobody. There is nobody looking at this world. There never has been, there never will be. There is just freedom, boundlessness – always not twoness.

Thinking is not the problem

Thinking is an integral part of the functioning of the body. Thinking is not the problem. Thinking you are a separate-independant-autonomous being is the cause of the problem and the very problem itself. They are not many thought, only one,  and it is the idea of separate being-ness.

As you are

We see the world, not as it is, but as we are, or as we are conditioned to see it

You live in the past

Every human is living at least 80 milliseconds in the past. Our consciousness lags behind actual events and that when you think an event occurs, it has already happened before your brain has a chance to create a cohesive picture of the world

The addiction to self

The mental process then claims everything: I am the one seeing, doing, etc. It's my body.

If your attention left the mental process, if you weren't so addicted to the idea of being a self, if your attention could entertain, "Possibly I'm not this that I'm so absorbed in and as," you would see there is no need to get out of self because there was never a self to be in. Sensations of the body are hijacked by the mental process which spins out a story of feelings about you. About what was you and what is going to be you. Then the thoughts reinforce that. Obsessing over self all day.

We are saddled with the proscribed way of looking called self-centeredness. Everything is perceived as to how it pertains to me. The thing to do is to turn the light on it to see that all there is, is subject; there is no object called me as a subject. There's just subjectivity. That's the truth. Then enlightenment and all these goals become non-goals, because you realize there is nothing to seek. 

You already know what the game is like when you're identified as the body. Now you might see how it goes when you're not. The narration about the journey is the heaviness. You'll see the solution by the problem's absence. When that narration is dismissed you realize, "That's what I was suffering from!"

Gurdijeff

Conscience is a state in which a man feels all at once everything that he in general feels, or can feel. And as everyone has within him thousands of contradictory feelings which vary from a deeply hidden realization of his own nothingness and fears of all kinds to the most stupid kind of self-conceit, self-confidence, self-satisfaction, and self-praise, to feel all this together would not only be painful but literally unbearable. If a man whose entire inner world is composed of contradictions were suddenly to feel all these contradictions simultaneously within himself, if he were to feel all at once that he loves everything he hates and hates everything he loves; that he lies when he tells the truth and that he tells the truth when he lies; and if he could feel the shame and horror of it all, this would be the state which is called 'conscience. A man cannot live in this state; he must either destroy contradictions or destroy conscience. He cannot destroy conscience, but if he cannot destroy it he can put it to sleep, that is, he can separate by impenetrable barriers one feeling of self from another, never see them together, never feel their incompatibility, the absurdity of one existing alongside another. But fortunately for man, that is, for his peace and for his sleep, this state of conscience is very rare.

G. I. Gurdjieff, quoted by Ouspensky, In Search of the Miraculous pg 155

Play

Life is so intelligent, it will always challenge you, put you into trouble and then solve it all for you. And as there is no 'you', life is just at play.