Lost

“I have already lost touch with a couple of people I used to be” – J o a n  D i d i o n

A letter of love

As the human I always move to that which is more pleasurable. No matter what. Even in the act of saving someone, that to comes from the movement towards pleasure. Always. As a human I pick my own benefit every time. While we have the same destinations, same goals, we will float together like two logs flowing down the river. I am sorry for all the times as the human I picked me over you - I couldn't help it that was my programming, I am set up to do that. I am set up to make mistakes and be selfish and to change and to have constantly different opinions. I am sorry for the production of thoughts which think they know anything about anything, I am sorry that sometimes I take them more seriously and I argue with your thoughts but I can't help it - I am set up that way. I am sorry for wanting to be right and even believing that. It's nothing personal it’s just this machine is wired that way. I am sorry for any pain or rejection I have caused or any time I didn't reflect back your divinity. I want to but I am human and I have to move, always moving….

But as beingness I love you beyond any type of love in this world. Any type of word or expression. Everything is wiped clean in every instant and nothing is held to. It's gone my mistakes and your mistakes as well. But also your joyous beautiful presence. It all goes and appears as if it never happened. It's so free to express in anyway - all its colors, the mistakes of the humans and the beauty of them. This love is so free it is nothing in this world but at the same time not outside it. But if this beautiful appearance of the human doesn't appear and be program just as it’s programmed I wouldn't get to look at you.